Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"Verbal Jousting"

The Joyously Sweaty City

All earthlings must be happy today,
After all, it is my birthday.
- Anandi Bandyopadhyay

Pity that chocolate chip biscuits are narrow minded. They head for the same accursed body parts every single time that they're injested. What's odious about this fixed destination, is that chocolate is a universal comfort food. So avoidance causes conflict. Which in some severe cases may serve to fatten wallets of psychoanalysts who'd have to wade through egos and ids that suffer from withdrawl symptoms.
What brought on this desire for a sugar rush? It was the excessive emotional quotient of the status updates on Facebook. I'm fine with angry, sad, wheedling, sullen, mean, dour and even abusive status updates, but the terryfyingly emotional,demonstrative and revealing ones make me nervous. It feels as though they've let themselves open to derision and I'm trying to hand back the ability to scorn or ridicule. After all, I'm perpetually struggling under the crippling weight of rather comprehensively thought out opinions which don't leave the other party much space to negiate or rather even wriggle in. But I really can't work up any remorse about having strong opinions. Apart from the flesh and blood, it's my opinions that make me.
It's rather bothersome that one of my more indomitable constituents is sarcasm. There'a nothing wrong with it as such. I just wish it could come with power brakes. That would put a halt to my wasting my best lines on people who don't get sarcasm. The effect takes a beating when I have look sheepish and explain what I meant. And it really doesn't feel right to use the same line at an altered venue or on a different subject, it would mean betraying my pride in originality.
Esoteric ideas (that baffle me when they occur to me) apart, I discovered something about Grey's evil brother Black. Sodden or soggy black is exquisite. Liquid makes black impossibly blacker and more impenetrable (although the liquid is penetrating) in appearance. That shade is not something manufactured dyes would be able to achieve, no matter how important the designer is. But the sad part is, I discovered this under very unpleasant circumstances. I discovered this when I stood in a rather beastly queue in Calcutta, sweating more in an hour than I would have in a month in Delhi. Black might have been a terrible colour to wear in that kettle of a city, but at least I didn't sport sweat stains.
Another in my long line of discoveries,was that I love walls. I adore them. Not because they afford us much needed privacy or keep the heat out. I love them because one can lean on them when completely exhausted. Of course relief at the walls' presence and it's generosity is bellied when you come away with paint on your back. Despite that, I think walls are wonderful.
On the flight back from the City of Sweat, sorry, City of Joy, I gathered that planes and pepsi don't mix. In additon to slushy feelings from the tummy region, I spent the rest of the flight twitching my nose trying to rid myself of the tingling at the brindge of the nose. I tried to pretend I was Sabrina until laughter threatened, because I really didn't want to be considered a lunatic. I love private jokes. But this was rather too huge to harbour.
City of Djinns felt air conditioned and scented. Inspite of the mercury that refused to budge from 39C.
The backlights of the cars on the highway reminded me of the need for more over-head bridges and winking cigarette butts mocking Ramadoss.
Either X or Y told me there are creatures called Ligers. I didn't quite believe them that lions and tigers would willingly breed. When X or Y supplemented what the other had said, I presumed that this..........procedure was undertaken by scientists whose brains disintegrated in some other equally vile experiment. Wikipedia put it more baldly. They said ligers were caused by accidents involving separate enclosures in zoos.
Some accident.
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
And I don't like it very much!
Oh no, oh no, he swallowed my toe, he swallowed my toe

Oh gee, oh gee, he's up to my knee, he's up to my knee
Oh fiddle, oh fiddle, he's reached my middle, he's reached my middle
Oh heck, oh heck, he's up to my neck, he's up to my neck
Oh dread, oh dread, he swallowed my.... schlirppp!


modern exile said...

a very Happy birthday

Anandi said...

Thank You!

Anonymous said...

Here's wishing you a very Hippy Birthday...keep posting!

Anandi said...

Hey thanks! Was the 'hippy' intentional? It was very happy though!

Keep reading!

Anonymous said...

Yes it was.

But happy's good enough.
My birthday's are neither. :|

Sayan said...

Happy Birthday to you, my views concur with yours w.r.t the "City" (Quotes made by sarcastic wiggling of fingers- Pl note)

It will be interesting to have a chat with you (provided you do not consider this an amorous invitation) and find out if we have common interests. Your writing style echoes the seemingly-bored-over-descriptive-understatements peppered style of Saki and Wilde (or maybe thats just me?) And if I sound pedantic, well that IS me. Another thing which leads to my interest in you is that you follow MY blog, which is an unusual activity in itself leading me to suspect that you are in precisely that region of mental degeneration that possesses(weird word! so manyy 's''s!!!) yours truly. Here's to a joyously creative and intellectually refreshing life for you! Cheers!

Anandi said...

Quotidian-Birthdays have their highs and lows. Don't read too much into the apparent lows.

Sayan- WOW! I'm torn. I'm deeply flattered by the akin to Saki and Wilde part, I'm not too sure of the mental degenration part. I don't think that's the effect you blog has on people, nor was I unstable to begin with!
PS- Have you read Shadow of the wind by any chance?? Keep reading and writing!

Anonymous said...

Eeeeee! I love irreverent people!!!!
I loved all your posts, especially the thought experiment.
And yes, that you like sarcasm is apparent.
Keep writing, I'm going to gobblethem up as fast as you dish them!


Anandi said...

Hello H!

Do I really betray so much??
And thought experiment is my favorite too.

More coming.....at indefinate dates of course!


Sayan said...

No I haven't. "Is it good" is not merely a superfluos, conversation forwarding question, but an enquiry into the superlative quality of the book. (I'm sorry my writing i so high flown and fancy-shmancy, an old habit to maintain the formality of the written language perhaps! Ha ha!!!!!)

Anandi said...

It's an excellent book. I'd thought you'd read it because you refered to yourself as 'yours truly' and that was a distinctive part of a character's self introduction.

Hmmmmm.....and your brain must be running on overdrive because you plunder it for 'fancy- shmancy ' and 'high flown' language at odd hours.

Ha ha ha ha!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Happy birthday indeed!
A fascinating blog. Most amusing.

Sayan said...

What are you reading at present? I'm reading "The 12 Caesars" by Suetonius. Wow! A cynical roman if there ever was one!

Anandi said...

Leatherdykeuk- Thank you, thank you and thanky you. On all three counts that is.

Anandi said...

Sayan- I'm not reading anything but laptom manuals and college handbooks. The last book I read was Holy Cow by Sarah Macdonald. Typical, foreigner floundering in India because of prejudice kind. Thank God, the country threw her a few curves in return.

Sayan said...

Really? I just read RK Narayan's "A Bachelor of Arts" simultaneously i'm reading The twelve caesars while thinking of re-reading The Fall by Camus, the Alchemist by Coelho really sucked.

Anandi said...

Sayan- My friend got me the first edition, signed copy of The Angel's Game, the prequel to Shadow of the Wind. I'm in love. I devoured it in seven straight hours. Sigh.
Ps-I quite like Camus too!

Da said...

haha.. you're funny... almost as funny as sayan's parenthetical clarification in his first comment here.