Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"Verbal Jousting"

The Joyously Sweaty City



All earthlings must be happy today,
After all, it is my birthday.
- Anandi Bandyopadhyay


Pity that chocolate chip biscuits are narrow minded. They head for the same accursed body parts every single time that they're injested. What's odious about this fixed destination, is that chocolate is a universal comfort food. So avoidance causes conflict. Which in some severe cases may serve to fatten wallets of psychoanalysts who'd have to wade through egos and ids that suffer from withdrawl symptoms.
What brought on this desire for a sugar rush? It was the excessive emotional quotient of the status updates on Facebook. I'm fine with angry, sad, wheedling, sullen, mean, dour and even abusive status updates, but the terryfyingly emotional,demonstrative and revealing ones make me nervous. It feels as though they've let themselves open to derision and I'm trying to hand back the ability to scorn or ridicule. After all, I'm perpetually struggling under the crippling weight of rather comprehensively thought out opinions which don't leave the other party much space to negiate or rather even wriggle in. But I really can't work up any remorse about having strong opinions. Apart from the flesh and blood, it's my opinions that make me.
It's rather bothersome that one of my more indomitable constituents is sarcasm. There'a nothing wrong with it as such. I just wish it could come with power brakes. That would put a halt to my wasting my best lines on people who don't get sarcasm. The effect takes a beating when I have look sheepish and explain what I meant. And it really doesn't feel right to use the same line at an altered venue or on a different subject, it would mean betraying my pride in originality.
Esoteric ideas (that baffle me when they occur to me) apart, I discovered something about Grey's evil brother Black. Sodden or soggy black is exquisite. Liquid makes black impossibly blacker and more impenetrable (although the liquid is penetrating) in appearance. That shade is not something manufactured dyes would be able to achieve, no matter how important the designer is. But the sad part is, I discovered this under very unpleasant circumstances. I discovered this when I stood in a rather beastly queue in Calcutta, sweating more in an hour than I would have in a month in Delhi. Black might have been a terrible colour to wear in that kettle of a city, but at least I didn't sport sweat stains.
Another in my long line of discoveries,was that I love walls. I adore them. Not because they afford us much needed privacy or keep the heat out. I love them because one can lean on them when completely exhausted. Of course relief at the walls' presence and it's generosity is bellied when you come away with paint on your back. Despite that, I think walls are wonderful.
On the flight back from the City of Sweat, sorry, City of Joy, I gathered that planes and pepsi don't mix. In additon to slushy feelings from the tummy region, I spent the rest of the flight twitching my nose trying to rid myself of the tingling at the brindge of the nose. I tried to pretend I was Sabrina until laughter threatened, because I really didn't want to be considered a lunatic. I love private jokes. But this was rather too huge to harbour.
City of Djinns felt air conditioned and scented. Inspite of the mercury that refused to budge from 39C.
The backlights of the cars on the highway reminded me of the need for more over-head bridges and winking cigarette butts mocking Ramadoss.
Either X or Y told me there are creatures called Ligers. I didn't quite believe them that lions and tigers would willingly breed. When X or Y supplemented what the other had said, I presumed that this..........procedure was undertaken by scientists whose brains disintegrated in some other equally vile experiment. Wikipedia put it more baldly. They said ligers were caused by accidents involving separate enclosures in zoos.
Some accident.
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
And I don't like it very much!
Oh no, oh no, he swallowed my toe, he swallowed my toe

Oh gee, oh gee, he's up to my knee, he's up to my knee
Oh fiddle, oh fiddle, he's reached my middle, he's reached my middle
Oh heck, oh heck, he's up to my neck, he's up to my neck
Oh dread, oh dread, he swallowed my.... schlirppp!